The Roller Coaster (A Metaphor)

Close your eyes and imagine with me… (well keep your eyes open to read…)

You’re standing in line for the newest, fastest, tallest, craziest roller coaster at Cedar Point.  It’s the epitome of fun at the park and all anyone around talks about.  People come from all over the United States to ride this roller coaster and you’re lucky enough to be passing through town on one of the days its open.  You’re going with some friends who’ve ridden before and so, even though you’re terrified of roller coasters (this obviously isn’t me since I love them!) you’re going to trust their judgment and ride it.

There’s a sign at the beginning letting you know this is a level five roller coaster.  It’s not for faint of heart.  This is the real deal.  After days of anticipation and then hours of waiting in line, mentally preparing yourself, you reach the front of the line.  There’s a whole car of you and everyone else has ridden before.  You step in and buckle up.  The operator pushes one single button and the car takes off, starting up the massive hill…slowly creaking as it catches the chain and pulls a little faster.  Your heart sinks just a little as you realize there is no going back, you are in this for the long haul.  You catch a glimpse of the rest of the coaster but you’re too busy trying to see the top of the hill to notice much. 

All too soon, you’re at the top and you catch a glimpse of what’s ahead.  You try to take in the entire thing as the car slows to almost a stop.  You see twists and turns, more hills, some tunnels and all the little people at the bottom, just watching you embark on the ride thinking to themselves “they must be crazy!”  

VROOSH!  Before you have time to digest it, you’ve taken off!  You throw your hands in the air and scream as you enjoy this new ride.  There are surprises after every turn and a few hills that make your stomach drop, but it’s fresh and exciting.  There’s a smile on your face as you realize your friends love it and you understand why.  The warm air, blowing by your face, the adrenaline rush, everything!  

Then, JERK!  What was that?  WHACK!  Again.  Your head bangs against your headrest making you slightly uncomfortable.  Kind of frustrating but you’re not going to let one corkscrew ruin your ride.  BAM!  Another!  Then Another!  What were the designers of this ride thinking?!  People enjoy having their heads banged around?  You start to have a slight headache.  After a few more turns you just want to get off and rest your head.  You might even be a little frustrated with your friends.  They knew there were head-banging turns and yet they told you it was one of their favorite coasters.  On top of that, it starts to rain.  And even though it’s just a sprinkle, the speed of the coaster intensifies it, making drips seem like bullets.  

Thankfully, you’ve reached the end of the roller coaster and the car is slowly returning back to the station.  It takes it a while and you have time to sit and calm your heart and straighten your head.  So many thoughts run through your head… “is it over already?”, “I’ve waited so long for this, was it worth it?”, “That was awesome!  Let’s do it again!...a different day though”, “my head is killing me”, “I just want to sit on solid land again”, “am I allowed to cry now?” and many others.

This is what we experienced today.  Now, let me expound on this as I share each bit of this ride, in its true form.  It’s going to be a long post, but its one heck of a story.  Sadly, we have NO pictures of today (as it would have been too dangerous to take a camera into the war zone later described) so I’ll have to describe everything really well…not my forte but “esta bien!”

We headed on a combi down to Liz and Miguel’s house around 8:40 (only 40 minutes late…we’re becoming true Peruvians).  We actually saw them at a little store before their house so we hopped out and walked over to Miguel’s mom’s house with them.  When we got there we started filling up buckets with water balloons.

We’re standing in the kitchen, tying these balloons when Miguel comes up and tells us we’re doing it all wrong.  Peruvians are water balloon masters!  They have it down to a science and we lucky enough to learn some of their secrets.  It was funny watching Miguel and his brother argue about the correct way to fill and tie them.  I’d be happy to teach you the art of water balloons when I’m back.  

It’s also a Peruvian custom to feed anyone that comes to your house so Miguel’s mom started offering us food.  At first we declined since we’d eaten breakfast and I always feel bad eating other people’s food, but she insisted so we sat down for breakfast at her house.  We had bread with multiple types of jam (the first jam we’ve had in Peru) and hot chocolate or this oatmeal drink.  It was so delicious and helped fill us a little more after our meager breakfast at home.

This family is awesome and loves joking around with each other so as we’re filling water balloons, eating breakfast, and getting ready for the day everyone is breaking water balloons over everyone else…inside the house!  It’s okay since they have dirt floors…the water absorbs right up!  Even his mom and dad were getting into it and throwing water on people.  I honestly couldn’t believe they were so into Carnival!  It was so fun to watch them.  Before leaving, Liz and Miguel’s dad got into a water balloon fight (outside this time) and a few of the members of our group were wet before we even left for Cajamarca.  We left with two huge buckets of water balloons and two small buckets. 

We had to walk into Banos del Inca to catch a combi into Cajamarca.  As we were sitting in the bus I thought to myself “there’s no going back now.”  It was a scary thought.  Liz had warned us that we were going to get soaked…especially because we’re white.  We needed the water balloons so we’d have ammo for the people who threw them at us.  I was relieved when I didn’t get hit with a balloon right as I stepped off the bus.  It wasn’t as crazy as I was expecting!

Then we started pushing our way through the crowd and suddenly we were in the middle of the street where the parade was going to take place.  There are people EVERYWHERE.  They’ve set up bleachers and chairs for the parade on both sides and people are starting to fill them in.  All of a sudden we see water balloons flying and then even more suddenly, I’m wet.  Noelle’s wet.  Brittany’s wet.  Aleksi and Liz are wet.  People start to see the pack of gringos walking down the middle of the road.

I swear everyone and their grandma took a turn throwing a balloon at us or squirting us with their water gun.  It’s the biggest water fight I’ve ever been a part of, or seen, in my entire life.  I’ve never even heard of anything like it!  Water balloons come from the front, they are thrown from behind us, people in the bleachers throw them into the street and (worst of all) people in buildings thrown them down onto you.  I have a small bucket of ours so I take aim at people who’ve gotten me.  The whole time we’re moving down the street my brain was on hyper alert looking for people with balloons in their hands.  The worst was when you didn’t see one coming and it pelts you.  Remember me saying Peruvians have water balloons down to a science?  Well they sure know how to make them hard and then aim perfectly to hit your body.  Even little kids!  One little boy got me good and my balloons were gone so I ran up to him and dumped my bucket of water on his head as he sat, helpless, in the stand.  He wasn’t more than eight years old and I didn’t feel bad one single bit!  Haha  The people around loved it and laughed so hard that the gringa got him back.  I had a small moment of triumph at that point.

I honestly CAN’T describe what took place as we walked down that street.  I was completely soaked in less than 10 minutes.  Thankfully the sun was out (at this point) so being wet wasn’t too bad.  We were laughing and running and just trying not to get hit.  People here are not quiet when gringos come by…I can’t count the number of times I heard that word today.  They also don’t hide when they point at you and laugh.  Then laugh harder when you’re watching them laugh at you and get pelted from behind with a balloon.  Seriously, I don’t have eyes in the back of my head!!  I’m walking down the street, practically spinning in circles trying to see in every direction.  Miguel isn’t helping as he’s pointing at us and yelling “get the gringas!” as if people weren’t already aware of our presence…all they need is an actual Peruvian telling them to hit us!  Thanks, Miguel. 

Besides the people on the side of the street throwing stuff at us there’s also the people IN the street that are against us.  Some will walk by you in the other direction (and you think you’re safe because they’ve passed) and then they turn around and break the balloon open over your head or on your back.  There are literally hundreds of people in the street participating in this massive water fight.  I wish so bad I had a picture or a little video clip of it!  

As I mentioned earlier, it was the worst when you walked by a tall building.  People are in every window, on the roof, and in the stairwells.  They have HUGE advantages as 1) they are high and can just toss them down on us 2) they have an endless supply of water as they’re in a building so they never run out of balloons or buckets of water.  Have you ever been hit with a water balloon thrown out of a building?  You aren’t missing on much…it hurts.  

So we’re walking (and sometimes running when there’s a lot of balloons at a time) down the street and finally we ask where we’re going to sit.  Liz informs us that we have to go back the other direction to get some seats closer to the start of the parade.  OIEJLKMVOAUDFASJ?!?!?!?!?  We have to go BACK through that madness??!!  Haha I couldn’t believe it.  Well we had to find seats that weren’t on chairs because you have to pay to sit down.  They charge upwards of s/ 10 per person and we only brought enough money for buses (like s/ 10 total).

Well we start back in the other direction (we’d walked about 20 or 25 minutes in the one direction) and I just felt like everyone who missed us the first time had another chance to get us.  It was a little later in the day so there was also more people in the stands…more balloons, more guns, more buckets…..

We searched for a crack anywhere in the stands and chairs for us to sit.  We finally found a little curb that was big enough to sit on and so we rested for a bit (after fighting the people who had chairs set up there…).  It was not comfortable and only three of us fit on that area of curb so the others turned the buckets upside down and sat on them in the road.  Shortly thereafter, the police came and told them they couldn’t sit there.  We’d been sitting for a while and I was beginning to dry off and it felt so good.  We could see rain clouds in the distance and all I kept thinking was “it doesn’t rain here until 3…it won’t rain before 3…it won’t rain before 3….”

Miguel convinced us to get up to go try to find a better spot so back into the war zone we went.  Same old, same old.  Now, the stands are practically packed (picture stands anywhere from a few rows of chairs just sitting flat to actual stadium seating stands five to ten rows high…going on forEVER) so there’s even MORE potential enemies.  Most of the normal people had run out of balloons but surprisingly we still got hit and squirted.  We walked until we made it to a wall of police officers.  Great, the parade had practically started and we couldn’t walk that way any further.  We had to turn BACK around AGAIN and head once more through the people.  More balloons.  By this point (and for half an hour previous) the clouds covered the sun, so our heat source had disappeared and we were cold.  I get cold easily and was fighting every ounce of me that wanted to shiver.  The last thing I wanted was for them to see the gringas looking miserable and defeated.

We couldn’t find seats on the road so we fought through the crowd on the side and got to a back road.  We stood on a little curb there for a while and saw parts of the parade over the heads of the people right next to the action.  Not the most ideal situation, but it’s what we had. 

Can I just tell you how awesome their parades are?!  It wasn’t the farmers driving their tractors down the road (sorry Rexburg) and the local cheerleaders attempting to cheer.  They had LEGIT floats with moving parts and people dressed in all sorts of fancy costumes.  It’s too bad Peruvians are so short or we probably could have seen more of the parade haha  They also had really ornate hats, some of taller than the person wearing them.  At one point there were a bunch of men dressed as bunnies (think full out Easter Bunny costumes) playing the guitar.  I have no idea why, but they made me laugh.  Our other favorite group of people were these giant Incan heads with huge noses.  So it looked like creepy heads with feet walking down the road…kind of like bobble heads.  There were also floats for areas all around Cajamarca with their queens on them.  Each queen had multiple men with umbrellas close by to protect them from the water being thrown from all directions.  We didn’t see the Banos del Inca float in the parade but it was made near our house and we saw it form from the bare minimum.  I didn’t miss not seeing it in the parade because their float was a curvy bird woman with exposed breasts just hanging out there in the open.  It was pornography on a parade float!!  

Well we weren’t satisfied with our seats and some drunk guys standing on top of their truck beckoned us to sit with them…so we went (what the heck?!).  We all climbed up and stood on long pieces of wood held up by metal bars in the back of their truck.  So now, we’re five white people STANDING ON A TRUCK.  Talk about an easy target.  By now, I’m just sick of water balloons and every one that hits me rubs me the wrong way.  Especially the one that nailed me in the back.  It stung for a good minute.  I’d had enough of being everyone’s target practice for the day so I hopped off the truck and sat on the ground between the truck and the bleachers.  Of course, I couldn’t see anything, but I was done and past caring about the parade.  The sun was still hiding, it had started to rain and people continued to throw water.  

I’d been sitting down there for maybe 10 minutes when the rest of the group decided to go.  Honestly, I was fine just sitting there and I didn’t want anyone to think I was in a rotten mood and I didn’t want to make anyone leave early.  They could enjoy the parade for as long as they wanted…I was content!  But back into the war zone we went!  Thankfully, most people were watching the parade but there was no shortage of water.  I’d found a piece of plastic (like a poncho) on the ground and used that to try and keep me dry and hide my white face haha  The problem with trying to leave was that we were on the wrong side of the road.  We’d have to cross the parade to get home.  So as we’re walking, Miguel kept a sharp eye out for an area to cross.  There wasn’t really anywhere since there are bleachers and rows of chairs packed together everywhere.  Then, when you found a place with less people, they wouldn’t let you by because they thought you wanted to take their seat ahead.

After 15 minutes of walking we found a spot and got across.  But we were not out of the woods quite yet!  We had to walk behind the people on the other side to get back to the main road where we could catch a bus back home.  This is where things get a little gross…  There aren’t public restrooms places so boys pee wherever they are.  Literally.  On the walk back to the road we passed an older man on a back road just peeing in the grass and a group of teenage guys standing between a car and a wall, all peeing together.  Sick man!  It’s like girls that go to the bathroom in groups haha 

After hours of complete craziness, we were suddenly free!  We made it to a side road that would take us to the main one and back to freedom.  I was wet and cold but on a bus back home.  It felt so good to drive through Banos…like we were home.   Later we found out that the parade went until SIX at night.  I’m glad they didn’t want to stay for a five hour parade…I really might have died.

Liz and Miguel offered us their hot shower (since we have no hot water at our place) and of course we accepted.  I can’t tell you how excited I was to step in a hot shower.  Well, we get to their house and there’s no electricity.  None.  Apparently there’s no electricity in Banos or Puylucana until 6:00 that night.  Bahahahahaha oh my goodness, my life is a joke!  Here we are, just craving a hot shower and we can’t have one.  Liz and Miguel are angels though and Miguel brings out his entire closet of sweaters for us to pick from as well as multiple pairs of pants and Liz and Aleksi bring out some warm clothes for us as well.  Liz even lent us some dry underwear!  I just wanted to hug them a million times over and bake them something delicious.  I can’t tell you how indebted we are to them.  Soon I’m going to dedicate a post just to them.  I ended up in one of Miguel’s sweaters and Liz’s sweatpants.  Noelle, the same, and Brittany in Aleksi’s sweatpants and Liz’s shirt…all three of us in Liz’s underclothes.  We certainly were a sight for sore eyes.

After we got warm in our new clothes we walked back over to Mamita’s house (Miguel’s mom) for lunch.  She’s an angel too!  She had a hot lunch waiting for us that was sooooooo good.  She served popcorn as an appetizer and then we had potatoes, rice (a lot of it), and a fried egg.  It was manna from heaven.  Their family has been so amazing to us and we are constantly amazed at their continuing kindness and friendship.  Yes, I think a post about them is quite necessary. 

We headed home to Puylucana after lunch, warm, full and happy.  It didn’t take long for us to find our bed in the middle of the floor, pop “The Other Side of Heaven” into a laptop and fall asleep.  It was such a satisfying nap!  We slept for a good 2 hours and it was beautiful.  We still haven’t taken their clothes off (sorry, guys!) but they are just so comfortable and warm.

At six the electricity still hadn’t come back on but it did a little before 6:30.  We were literally out of food so Brittany went to the store across the street and picked us up some eggs, tomatoes, avocados and mangoes.

Now, I’m sitting on the countertop, wrapped in the dog blanket I was too scared to touch the first night, writing this never-ending blog.  Congratulations if you actually read this entire account!  I apologize if it was a little choppy or scatterbrained but that’s kind of how the day went.  It was all so surreal.  Even as I read what I wrote I almost don’t believe it.  And I can’t do the experience justice either.  It’s something you’d just have to see with your own eyes.  THOUSANDS of people out for the water fight of the year.  I was part of it in 2012.  BOOYAH!  The best part?  I don’t think I have any bruises…although maybe it would be better if I did so I could prove I was there.

Here's a video of a previous year...watch starting at 40 seconds and you'll get a good idea of the parade and the amount of people on the side of the streets...now picture us walking through them hahaha